Policy Statement : Phoenix and Tempe's Night Time Locksmith Sevice

We charge the same price day or night, rich or poor, near or far!

Policy Statement

Opening Businesses and Offices

I do not open exterior doors on businesses. I will open offices if you have picture ID and your name (first and last) is clearly printed on the door, e.g. a doctor’s or a lawyer’s office. I will open interior doors if the business is open and the person ordering the work has picture ID and is acknowledged by the others as their boss.

	Picture ID
		Driver’s License, US or Foreign Passport, US or Foreign US Military ID College ID Credit Card with Photo

Opening Residences

I will open a residence if you have both picture ID and proof of residency. The same document, like a driver’s license, may satisfy both requirements. Interior doors do not require any documentation, only exterior doors.

You must have these documents outside the house. I tape record the telephone conversation, specifically the part where you say you have picture ID and proof of residency with you outside the house. If you lie to me on the phone in order to lure me out to your location, I will interpret that as a threat to my life and act accordingly.

	Picture ID
		Driver’s License, US or Foreign Passport, US or Foreign US Military ID College ID Credit Card with Photo

	Proof of Residency Must have both your name and the address printed on it.
		Driver’s License Vehicle Registration Vehicle Insurance Loan Documents Any pre-printed document from a big company, e.g. a utility bill. Listed Telephone Number (this only works for houses. Directory Assistance never has apartment numbers.)

Pet sitters must work for a professional pet-sitting company with a pre-printed form signed by the homeowner stating that they are allowed in the house and giving its address. A hand-written note explaining what to feed the animals is NOT sufficient. Teenage girls crying on the phone because they were supposed to feed their neighbor’s dog and they locked themselves out are sad but – sorry – rules are rules.

Opening Vehicles

You must have picture ID if the vehicle is parked in a public place. If your picture ID is locked in the car, then someone else must show their ID to vouch for you. You do not have to prove that you own the vehicle. That would be impossible, since everybody keeps their registration in their glove box, not in their wallet. If it is a commercial vehicle that is full of valuable equipment, then I will want to see a business card or some evidence that you work for that company.

	Picture ID
		Driver’s License, US or Foreign Passport, US or Foreign US Military ID College ID Credit Card with Photo

Opening Padlocks and Steering Wheel Locks

If the padlock is on a gate, shed, or bicycle, then it must be on your property. If this is a house, then being inside the house is sufficient – you don’t need to show any documentation. If the padlock belongs to someone else (e.g. a realtor’s lockbox or a utility company’s equipment), then I cannot open it even if it is on your property.

If it is a steering wheel lock or the padlock is on a vehicle (e.g. a toolbox), then you must have the same documentation that you would if I were making an ignition key.

If a bicycle is chained to a bicycle rack, I will need authorization from the owner of that property. If the bicycle is chained to public property (e.g. a light pole), then I cannot open it. If the padlock is on a storage unit, I will need to meet you at the office during business hours so the clerk can authorize me to open the unit.

Keys for Private Vehicles

I will make a key for a private vehicle if you have both picture ID and proof of ownership.

	Picture ID
		Driver’s License, US or Foreign Passport, US or Foreign US Military ID College ID Credit Card with Photo

	Proof of Ownership Must be current.
		Registration Title Open Title Insurance

Keys for Commercial Vehicles

I will make a key for a commercial vehicle (i.e. one registered in a business name) if you have both picture ID and proof of authorization from the management.

	Picture ID
		Driver’s License, US or Foreign Passport, US or Foreign US Military ID College ID Credit Card with Photo

	Proof of Authorization
		A business card identifying you as the owner I can call the telephone number printed on the side of the vehicle or look it up in the phone book and ask them to authorize you.

Police and Security Guard Authorization

A uniformed security guard (e.g. at the gatehouse of a housing development) and the manager or secretary of an apartment building, provided that they are in an office that is clearly labeled as such (not just some guy that announces "I’m the manager around here") can sign the authorization for me to open a house or apartment. Click here for proof that I am serious. Employees of mini-storage facilities must also sign the authorization before I will cut off a padlock. Click here and here for proof that I am serious.

In my experience, police officers never want to sign the authorization form. They always insist on a verbal authorization. Their motivation for not putting anything in writing is obvious. They have the authority to do warrantless searches now and are always cruising around looking for houses to break into, but they don’t want to create a paper trail leading back to the police department. If they get caught, they can always arrest the locksmith that they hired and, provided that they did not sign anything, there is no evidence that they were the ones who ordered him to open the house. Also, especially if the customer is a pretty girl, the police will pressure a locksmith into doing the work for free. Thus, I do not open residences or make vehicle keys on a policeman’s order. The last time I worked for the police I was able to force them to sign the authorization only after a confrontation, and then they stiffed me. But, having seen them back down from me once, I am confident that I can defy the police at any time. Thus, if you are a cop and you want to get into a house, feel free to go fuck yourself – if you call me, I will just hang up on you.

If you do not have the picture ID and proof of residency that I require, then call someone else. The Yellow Pages are full of the "will open anything for anybody, no questions asked" type of locksmith, and that is who you should be talking to, not me. Getting all huffy and threatening to call the police won’t work, I’ll just leave. When the police arrive (after I’ve left), the officer will probably have a no-questions-asked locksmith on his speed dial, so he can call that man for you. Don’t call me back. I can and will hang up on cops, in spite of their "How dare you hang up on an officer of the law!" attitude.

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